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It was probably a hard decision to make, but you chose the people in your wedding party because you love them and they’re important to you. They’re your biggest supporters, and you’re probably feeling pretty lucky that they’ve agreed to help you prepare for your big day. From helping to keep you sane when planning gets hectic to holding your dress up when you hit the restroom, this is your special squad. To show your appreciation for their support, there are little gestures you can do to keep your wedding party happy.

Your wedding party is likely investing quite a bit of time and money to ensure that your wedding is the best it possibly can be. From helping to plan bachelor and bachelorette parties to investing in a decently expensive outfit for the big day, to taking time off from work to arrive a day early for the rehearsal dinner and even mitigating arguments between family members on the big day. (Though ideally, this doesn’t happen at your wedding.)

When people are willing to go above and beyond for you, it’s nice to go above and beyond for them too. And not just when they get married. Here are some thoughtful little things you can do for your special crew on the days leading up to your wedding.

1. Ask Them To Join Your Wedding Party With A Personalized Gift

This is pretty standard, but when you ask someone to be your bridesmaid or groomsmen, make sure you send them a handwritten note and a small gift, like a bottle of champagne. It says “I know what I’m asking of you, and I really appreciate you already.”

2. Host An Event So That Your Wedding Party Gets To Know Each Other Early On

While some of your crew may be too far away to attend, it’s nice to plan a small get together brunch or cocktails in your city so that your college friends can finally get to know your high school pals. This can also serve as a substitute for the aforementioned gift. (Just make sure you’re not asking anyone to buy a flight just so you can ask them to be in your wedding party at a dinner!)

3. Thank Them Throughout The Process

Make sure you continue communicating how much you appreciate what your wedding party is doing for you throughout the process. It’s as simple as shooting that friend a text after they call that local florist to check out prices for you.

4. Don’t Put Any Pressure On Destination Events

It’s fun to have a destination bachelor or bachelorette party, but remember that you’re probably asking some people to travel for your wedding as well. If you want to spend a week in Thailand pre-wedding, make sure it’s incredibly clear to your friends that it is an optional event.

5. Let Them Know You Don’t Expect Gifts From Them

While it’s customary for those in your wedding party to buy the couple a gift, it’s also really classy and unassuming to say, “I really appreciate all you’ve done for me, so please do not feel pressure to get me a gift.” Especially when it comes to bridal showers. This small gesture will go a long way.

6. Pay For Something Special

Whether that’s taking care of the tux rentals or bridesmaids’ makeup, or treating everyone to massages or even just a bar tab, the gesture of saying “I’ve got you,” to the people you have your back should be a requirement.

7. Stock Their Hotel Room With Something They Love

If your wedding party isn’t staying with you, it’s nice to put a bottle of that Sauvignon Blanc Karen loves in her room, or have a mini orchid delivered to Jason’s room with his tux.

8. Ask Them About Their Lives

Remember that the members of the wedding party are people too! Asking them about how they are, and what’s going on outside of weddings and relationships is important.

9. Don’t Slam Their Inboxes

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a 20-paragraph email about wedding planning, you know how nice it is when things are organized. Consider starting a group chat on something like GroupMe or Slack so you’re not overwhelming anyone with planning details during the workday.

10. Host A Welcome Party

Before getting to the rehearsal dinner, it’s nice to host a small welcome party for your wedding party. Break out the good champagne, provide some yummy hors d’oeuvres — this is a great time to break out something a bit fancier, like oysters — and give a speech thanking them for all their help. This also allows time for single members of both wedding parties to get a head start on mingling…

Written by: Kimmy Foskett

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