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Here’s a truth: I have never been married. That’s a fact. However, I do know that getting married is a very expensive thing to do. I know this from friends, family, and research. I know this because people love to grumble about it. Aside from learning the price tags of flowers and photography, I have been most stunned by how much wedding stationery costs. It’s a lot! So why would you want to add another mailing to your list of expenses? Do you have to send save-the-dates to your guests?

Bride oh bride, do I have an answer for you. Here it is: yes. You absolutely need to send out save the dates, and I will tell you why. As an almost 30-year-old human woman, I am a frequent wedding attendee of late. With so many lovely people in my life committing themselves to loving another special person forever, weekends can get rather busy. (See: summer months.)

When I receive a save-the-date for a wedding in the mail, I can put said wedding on my calendar with plenty of time to spare. I also am probably 99 percent less likely to try and figure a way out of attending that wedding if it’s one of someone I don’t know well. (Sorry, but it’s true. There’s only so much wedding stamina allotted per millennial.)

This is all to say that if my schedule is open and I receive a save-the-date — and the wedding isn’t in Russia on a Wednesday — it’s on my calendar immediately. But I am just one case study, and I want to convince you further that yes, it’s important to send out save the dates.

When you first get engaged and finally put that post on the gram, there will be many people in your life who are excited for you. Some of them will be so excited that they’ll actually start talking about your wedding even though they haven’t been invited yet. Save-the-dates are a great way to let your friends, family, and coworkers know who is invited and who isn’t at an early date. They mitigate plenty of awkwardness.

Additionally, sending your save-the-dates out in a timely manner is a great way for you and your partner to get on top of things early. They essentially force you to confirm your venue, guest list, and date in order early on. That can be very helpful when it comes to planning and budgeting your wedding in advance.

And at the end of the day, if you’re worried about cost, remember that you can send save-the-dates via Paperless Post or even less expensive postcards from a tourist attraction near your venue. Your guests will appreciate the heads up, and I promise that the peace of mind you’ll get from knowing that your best friends won’t have already committed to something will be worth it.

Written by: Kimmy Foskett