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If finally garnering 300 likes on an Insta post wasn’t enough of an indication for you, let’s be very clear: getting engaged is a big deal. Society says that putting a rock on a finger or getting down on one knee is worth celebrating — with Instagram likes and with parties. If you recently got engaged, you may be wondering what the deal with engagement parties is. Should you have an engagement party? Are they required? Are they antiquated? Or are they just a great excuse for a party?

Traditionally, engagement parties are hosted by the bride’s family, but nowadays anything goes. (And notably, not every couple includes a bride.) Engagement parties are meant to start the party in advance of your wedding.

Committing is a big deal! Your friends and family want to start congratulating you as soon as they can. Usually at a bar over drinks, engagement parties are relatively low-key affairs. But if you’re also thinking of asking friends to join you at a bridal shower, bachelorette, and destination wedding, you might be wondering if an engagement party is a good idea.

Don’t sweat it! We’ve got you covered with the pros and cons of hosting a pre-celebration of your love.

Pro: You Get To Enjoy The Moment With People You Love

Whether your friends throw you a surprise engagement party the night of your proposal or you plan a formal celebration, there’s something incredibly special about celebrating your engagement before any wedding planning has begun. You’re actually celebrating the bliss of the engagement in the moment that you feel the rush of excitement that comes with saying, “yes.”

Con: It’s Another Event In Your Honor

While some couples may love the idea of hosting multiple parties in celebration of the love they have found, others may be overwhelmed by it. If you’re an introvert or someone who prefers not to draw too much attention to yourself, skip the engagement party. It is not a requirement. Plus, it’s another invite to send out. Celebrate over a casual brunch instead.

Pro: You Get A Feel For What Your Wedding Planning Vibe Will Be Like

Planning a proper engagement party means that you get to dip your toes into the pool of feeling out what you enjoy about planning, how you and your partner feel about different aspects of planning, and what you truly despise about planning. (There’s always something.) You’ll also get a feel for what your wedding guests might be like as a crowd. (It’s important that you only invite probable wedding guests to your engagement party to be polite.)

Con: Parties Cost Money

Hosting an engagement party, even if it’s just at a bar or at your apartment, can still be taxing on a tight budget. If money is no object, go for it. Canapes for all! If you’re worried about your wedding budget to begin with, think twice before investing in another food-and-booze celebration. Think about what else you could allocate that money to.

Written by: Kimmy Foskett